1
The clerk is looking at me. His expression hasn't changed. What I want to do is punch a hole in the front of the desk, reach through, grab his balls, and make him sing The Mickey Mouse Club song. But these days, I'm working on the theory that killing everyone I don't like might be counterproductive. I'm learning to use my indoor voice like a big boy, so I smile back at the clerk.Richard Kadrey
2
They can talk shit about each other behind the others' backs, but when it comes down to it, money is the one true race and everyone down here is the color of greenbacks and as tall as mountains.Richard Kadrey
3
If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.Richard Kadrey
4
Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.Richard Kadrey
5
There are two Venices I know about and one of them is a hotel in Vegas. The other is an L.A. beach where pretty girls walk their dogs while wearing as little as possible and mutant slabs of tanned, posthuman beef sip iced steroid lattes and pump iron until their pecs are the size of Volkswagens.Richard Kadrey
6
It doesn't matter if you and everyone else in the room are thinking it. You don't say the words. Words are weapons. They blast big bloody holes in the world. And words are bricks. Say something out loud and it starts turning solid. Say it loud enough and it becomes a wall you can't get through.Richard Kadrey
7
If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.Richard Kadrey
8
Don't talk. Kill it." That might be the sweetest thing a woman's ever said to me on a first date.Richard Kadrey
9
The dead think they can get away with anything because you'll feel sorry for them. If you play cards with the dead, make sure you deal and don't let them buy you drinks. They'll slip you a formaldehyde roofie and pry the gold fillings out of your teeth.Richard Kadrey
10
Don't drink too much."" When I can spell out your name in shot glasses, I'll stop."" I'll have to get a shorter name."" I'll have to forget how to spell it.Richard Kadrey
11
Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?Richard Kadrey